C CALLICANTZARI (Greek; see also FAERY) Callicantzari are Greek faery folk, sometimes small and mischievous, sometimes large and dangerous. During the twelve days of Christmas they are free to roam the earth and make trouble. One of these callicantzari, the drakos, stops wedding parties on the road and tries to carry off the bridegroom. The bride can scare him off, if she stands her ground and declares that she is the daughter of the thunder and she has already eaten nine dragons for breakfast that morning. This is noteworthy when so much of our folklore is worried about the fidelity of the bridegroom, and takes the woman’s commitment to marriage as a given. The drakos would seem to demand something more of Greek brides. By standing up to the bridegroom thief and pronouncing herself worthy as a warrior, the girl enters into marriage as a conscious choice. A surprising number of young women marry out of an unconscious desire to purchase Brides’ magazines and organize a catered affair; out of a desire to please; or because they can’t think of what else to do with themselves at a certain stage in their lives. Comments/Weblog CAMELOPARD (Medieval bestiaries) A completely imaginary animal, made by combining the face and neck of a camel with the spots of a leopard while trying to describe a giraffe. This is not the only time that a giraffe has been mistaken for a mythical animal; in China, unscrupulous biologists once tried to pass of a giraffe as the mystical Asian unicorn, chi-lin. The camelopard finally disappeared from xenobiology after a real giraffe, Zarafa, traveled 3,500 miles to live in Paris. CAMUS, ALBERT (1913-1960) French philosopher, writer and “artiste engage”, one of the Seriously Cool Guys of History. Ormondroyd’s recommends his Myth of Sisyphus as an answer to Hamlet’s question. The essay “Neither Victims Nor Executioners” is one cornerstone of the political views expressed here. In the spirit of full disclosure, it should be noted that the author of this webpage once smoked Gauloises for a week in an adolescent attempt to emulate Camus. The present author more closely resembles a cross between a lumberjack and a chipmunk, and no amount of tobacco was going to turn him into a skeptical Frenchman in a trench-coat. CAPRICORN (Ancient Mediterranean and Middle East) Capricorn is best known as a constellation, appearing in the night sky from August through November, one of twelve signs of the astrological zodiac. Half goat, it can climb to the mountaintops; half fish, it could descend to know the secrets of the deepest oceans. This symbolism of two opposites joined is common in mythology. The Greeks concocted a story relating Capricorn to the goat god Pan, caught half in and half out of the water while being pursued by the sea god Poseidon, but the symbol is much older than that. The sea goat is found throughout the Middle East and Mediterranean, and probably first appeared in ancient Babylon; Babylon developed the zodiac as a “rational” explanation for its religious beliefs. These beliefs ought to receive more credit in the history of ideas, leading to the concept of the 360-degree circle and the twenty-four hour day. CENTAUR (Greek) Our relationship with the horse may be unique among the animals. We love and torment all the beasts, but the horse is the only animal that we try to become a part of. In the ideal, the horse and rider act as one, an animal body directed by a human intelligence, and perhaps this is the fantasy represented by the centaur. A gentle centaur named Chiron was teacher to the great heroes of Greek mythology: Orpheus the musician, Asclepius the father of medicine, Jason and the Argonauts, even Heracles, all learned their art and science at Chiron’s hooves. Otherwise, centaurs have a somewhat troubled reputation, being predisposed to drunkenness and to carrying off maidens when the human half of their double nature takes over. Historically, Robert Graves thinks the centaur might have been the symbol for an ancient tribe or clan, which used the horse as its totem animal. Going back even further, the centaur—and its habit of breaking up a dinner party-- may have arisen from the first descriptions of riders on horseback, when Neolithic farmers first met nomadic horsemen. CERBERUS (Greek) Cerberus is the three-headed dog that guards the gates of the underworld in Greek mythology. Only three mortals have made their way past him to the land of the dead and back again. First was Orpheus, the greatest musician who ever lived; his music could make the stones speak, and cause the sun to rise. Orpheus had a ladylove Eurydice, and when she died, he dared what no other lover achieved: he went down into Hell after her. The music that he played, as he walked towards death, caused all doors and hearts to be opened to him. When he came to three- headed Cerberus, howling and lashing its serpent’s tail, Orpheus played sprightly and the hound of hell frisked about like a puppy dancing before a beloved master. Orpheus was told that Eurydice could return with him to the land of the living—but she must walk behind him through the dark and he could not look back at her until they were both safe above the ground. Though all Hell stood still to hear him play, Orpheus felt fear and doubt in his heart; he looked back to see if Eurydice was following, and she was lost to him forever. The next mortal to pass by Cerberus met with a happier end. The lady Psyche had lost her husband Cupid, and to get him back she had to fetch water from the magical river that flows through Hell. She gently charmed the ferocious dog with bits of a seed cake she had baked; Cerberus solemnly munched at the treat and let Psyche pass. The last of the Twelve Famous Labors of Heracles was to march into Hell and fetch Cerberus back as a lap dog for a king. The Lord of the Underworld told Heracles that he was welcome to take Cerberus, if he could defeat him without using his club or arrows and promised to clean up after him. Three-headed Cerberus rushed howling towards a bare-handed Heracles. When a dog leaps, it leaps stiff legged, and cannot change direction or wrap its legs around its enemy as a cat does, and so Heracles was able to lift Cerberus up above his head, so that no matter how Cerberus squirmed and howled and slavered and snapped, he could not reach the hero. They came out smoldering from the Underworld, the demigod struggling with a squirming creature never meant to see the light of day. The aspen leaves wrapped around Heracles’ head were burnt black on one side from the journey through Hell; the other side was bleached silvery white by his heroic sweat. The slaver and flame that flew from Cerberus’ mouth hissed and spat as it hit the ground; it hardened and became the poisonous plant called aconite. The king had asked Heracles to fetch Cerberus on a whim; now he was confronted with this howling, hellacious thing smack dab in the middle of his throne room, clawing up the marble floors and singing the walls. Cerberus was quickly released by the nervous king, and ran smoking back to Hell. CHANGELING (Celtic; see also FAERY) The faery-folk sometimes steal a human child and leave a changeling in its place. The changeling looks like a human child but as it grows, its strange behavior gives it away. A changeling may speak in the language of birds, show psychic and mental abilities no human child could have, and one day slip off to join its own kind. The stolen human child is cherished by the elves; they take human babies because they feel sorry for them: Come away, oh human child— To the waters and the wild With a faery, hand in hand; For the world’s more full of weeping than you can understand. -- Yeats, “The Stolen Child” CHARYBDIS; see SCYLLA and CHARYBDIS CHERUBIM (Medieval) Cherubim are angels of light, appearing not in human form but as an infinite arrangemant of wings and eyes. The cherubim may be related to the winged Eye of Horus found in Egyptian art. CHESHIRE CAT (Works of Lewis Carroll) Like the manticore, the Cheshire Cat wears a wide toothy grin on its face. Most cats smile only to themselves when they think no one is watching. The Cheshire Cat lures ordinary people into deep philosophical discussions. Most humans can only talk about sports and popular music, and they find conversation with a Cheshire Cat to be annoying and unsettling. They don’t know whether the cat is crazy, or they themselves are crazy, or both of them are mad. As their mind begins to spin, the Cheshire Cat vanishes away, leaving its mocking grin behind. The Cheshire Cat is hunted as vermin in the Republic of Texas, where they “don’t do nuance.” CHI-LIN (See KI-RIN) CHIMERA (Greek) A chimera is made by combining parts of various animals in order to create a monster. The first chimera had the head of a goat, the head of a lion, and the head of a serpent. Spitting fire and venom, it terrorized a desolate corner of ancient Greece. The beast was killed by the hero Bellerophon riding the winged horse Pegasus. “Chimera” or “chimere” is the correct term for the architectural figures more commonly known as gargoyles. A true gargoyle is both decoration and rainspout. “Chimera” is used in science as the generic term for an organism created by combining genetic material from two or more different species. COCKATRICE (Medieval) The cockatrice is an abomination born by the hatching of a rooster’s egg. They are sometimes created when a serpent leaves an egg in the warmth of a hen’s nest. Old country folk, including the great-grandmother of the present author, would immediately kill a hen if it crowed like a rooster. It was here that the author inherited his ruthlessness. The cockatrice is often confused with the basilisk, another monster whose looks can kill. The cockatrice wears a roosters’ head; the basilisk is the more serpentine of the two. This distinction should only be attempted with the use of a mirror. COMMITTEE for KNOCKING THINGS OFF of OTHER THINGS (Worldwide) Cats and humans have lived together since Egyptian times and the worship of the goddess Bastet. A recent discovery from the Neolithic village of Shillourokambo on Cyprus pushes cohabitation back even further, to at least 9,500 years ago. We may assume that cats started “knocking things off of other things” as soon as they encountered the human penchant for order. The Committee for Knocking Things Off of Other Things must have formed soon after. The reason for knocking things off of other things remains unclear. We might contemplate the struggle between gods of Order and Chaos, but this falls short of explaining why cats, the apparent agents of Chaos, will insist on their own idea of Order regardless of our wishes. COMMITTEE for PUTTING THINGS on TOP of OTHER THINGS (British) Chartered in the 17th century, the CPTTOT kept its existence “under the rose” until mentioned in a 1970s performance by the Oxbridge group Monty Python’s Flying Circus. The Committee for Putting Things on Top of Other Things was formed to counter the activities of the much older Committee for Knocking Things off of Other Things. COW (Worldwide) The cow was of equal importance to the bull in primordial mythology. Dr. Alva Clark (Michigan DVM and “Enemy of the People” during the PBB scandal) describes the cow as “second mother to us all”, providing nourishment and wealth. A truly great cow is sharp enough at the shoulders to split a raindrop, wide enough in the chest and legs for a pig to walk through, and has a neck long enough to reach the second row of a neighbor’s corn. Such a cow represents not just herself, but generations of selective breeding and genetic wealth. A cow cannot simply be “replaced” like a piece of machinery. The ancients recognized this, and mythology is full of goddesses who have some connection to the cow. They are often shown wearing curved horns, representing both the cow and the changing sickle moon. All this is vaguely remembered in modern expressions such as baseball’s “holy cow” and the political “sacred cow”. Our very own galaxy, one arm of which can be glimpsed on a clear night without light pollution, is called the Milky Way: the cloud of stars being a careless spill of rich milk left behind by the benevolent side of our Jeckyl and Hyde universe. COYOTE (Native American) Coyote isn’t really a “beast”, but the mythical Trickster in the stories of many North American tribes. Akin to Br’er Rabbit, Bugs Bunny, Raven and Spider, Coyote can be portrayed as either amusing or malevolent. In the scheme of Creation, Coyote was responsible for the more embarrassing aspects of the Intelligent Design theory, such as: “Why Our Assholes are Puckered” A long time ago, Coyote caught some salmon and was smoking them over a fire when a pair of little foxes smelled the cooking. They waited until Coyote lay down for a nap, then crept in and commenced to steal the smoked salmon. Coyote was lying face down, and hung his asshole on a tree to keep watch. When it caught sight of the foxes, it tried to wake him up. “Pfft,” said Coyote’s asshole. “What’s the matter with you?” Coyote grumbled. “Go back to sleep.” “Puut!” said his asshole. “If you can’t be quiet,” Coyote growled, “I’m going to throw you away.” “Riiip!” his asshole snorted, loud enough to make Coyote sit up. When he saw the salmon missing, Coyote was so angry he threw his asshole in the river. For a while he didn’t miss it— it was an embarrassing, unruly, undignified asshole even on the best of days. After a week or two, Coyote’s body started to fray around the edges and he was sorry he’d maligned his asshole. He searched until he found it—it had washed up downstream and some boys were poking it with sticks-- and he tied it back on with a piece of string. Ever since then, our assholes have been puckered from the piece of string that Coyote pulled too tight. CYCLOPS (Greek) The Cyclopes are an ancient race, brutal giants with one eye in the middle of their forehead. In primordial times they served as the blacksmiths of the gods and titans, servants of the lame god Vulcan. As the golden age of the world slipped away, the Cyclopes became a degenerate race of solitary monsters. The best-known Cyclops was the monster Polyphemus, who did his best to be the death of Odysseus and his crew. The Greek hero and his fellows were wandering home from the Trojan War when they stumbled onto Polyphemus’ cave. Odysseus expected the customary hospitality due to strangers, and the crew helped themselves to the plentiful mutton and cheese they found hanging there. At sunset the master of the cave came home, and the Greeks were surprised to find it was no ordinary shepherd, but a giant with one eye in the middle of his forehead. The brute merely grunted at Odysseus’ greeting, and rolled a huge stone across the mouth of the cave, sealing them all in together for the night. Without a word, before they could scream out their shock and horror, the giant took two of the men by their ankles. He dashed their brains out against a rock and ate them, teeth and toenails. The crew huddled together through the night, shaking with rage and horror, but they dared not kill the sleeping Polyphemus—he was the only one strong enough to roll the stone away from the door. In the morning they were as helpless as children when the Cyclops killed and devoured two more of their comrades for breakfast. The monster left them alone for a day, but returned to the cave that night, rolling the stone away, herding his flocks inside, then sealing the cave door behind him. When he reached for his dinner, Odysseus offered a taste of the wine they'd brought as a gift for their host. The Cyclops drank, and drank some more as the hero urged him on. He drunkenly asked Odysseus for his name, offering to eat him last out of gratitude. “No-one is my name,” Odysseus told him. The Cyclops drifted off to a drunkard’s sleep. The desperate Greeks whittled a sharp point into a long wooden stake and then hardened the point in the fire. They rushed at the sleeping monster and thrust the burning stake into that single terrible eye. Screaming with pain and rage, the Cyclops tried to seize them, but blinded as he was, most stayed out of his reach. He screamed so loud, every Cyclopes on the island rushed to his cave, but when he moaned, “No One hurt me! No One blinded me!”, they laughed and wandered off, thinking him drunk or delirious. For the Greeks, there was still the problem of escaping from the cave. Each man lashed himself to the underbelly of two of the sheep. In the morning, Polyphemus opened the cave and let the sheep out one by one, feeling their backs to make sure no one rode on them. There was a sticky moment when the old ram that Odysseus held on to paused at the mouth of the cave; then Polyphemus coaxed him on, and all had escaped from the Cyclops’ cave, But not quite. For Odysseus made the mistake of calling back to Polyphemus and telling him his true name. Names have power, so have a care when you pass yours out. The blinded Cyclops called out to the gods to harry the crew and avenge his injury. The giant’s curse only added to the trouble the ship already carried; Odysseus would be the sole survivor of the expedition, and take twenty years getting home. CYNOCEPHALUS (Medieval) A dog headed race of men found in the East Indies and in the imagination of medieval writers. All sorts of fantastic things were said about them—that they barked rather than talked; that they died in sections, bit by bit over a period of seventy-two days; that they refused to eat fish; that they barked every hour on the hour during the equinox. Some people will believe anything. D DEMON (Worldwide) A demon is an evil spirit that can enter the physical world and affect human behavior. This rewrites the laws of physics not for the sake of a miracle, but for the convenience of a devil. We blame our imaginary playmates for the evil that men do. Certainly people who believe in demons are more dangerous than any imp; religious groups have blithely murdered as many as Hitler in their efforts to combat supernatural evil. We also have to contend with contrary half-wits who believe they can gain power by sacrificing other souls to demonic forces. The average business major would do as much to secure a real state deal, with far less damage to the sacrificial goat population. This annoys professional demonologists, fantasy/horror writers and exorcists; at least half the pinhead population regards the demonic metaphor as literal fact. In many cultures, the creatures now called “demons” were once worshipped as gods. New gods and new religions came in— this is a difficult concept for some to grasp—and their priests got rid of the competition by teaching that the old “gods” were in fact evil demons. In the way, the Christian devil was given the hooves, horns and wanger of the Greek god Pan and the Celtic god Cerunnos. This god-into-demon phenomenon led to some odd locutions. In the Vedic language, the word “deva” means “god”. To their Persian neighbors, the devas were “devis”, false gods, cat-headed demons, and their new Persian gods were the true gods. On the Vedic side, the Persian gods became devils and the Persian “devils” became new gods. Thus the same root came to mean both “devil” and “divine”, because of a religious debate that everyone else has forgotten. The English word “demon” came from the Greek word “daemon”, which meant the personal spirit that inspires or protects an individual, about as sinister as a guardian angel or muse. Early Christians were surrounded and outnumbered by the gods of the old Greco-Roman cultures; they insisted these gods were imaginary beings, theological mistakes. As the Christian religious quest became less personal and more political, the old gods were demonized. The avatars and archetypes were warped into creatures at constant war with God and Man. By the 16th century there was an elaborate science of demonology, whole encyclopedias crammed with enough gory detail to write a tour guide of Hell. Some gave the exact number of demons loose into the world, well into the millions, though who did the counting was never explained. The demonic bureaucracy and the flow charts that flew forth led to the grimoires, do-it-yourself books on conjuring demons for fun and profit. This gave us our popular image of the necromancer drawing a pentacle on the floor. A handy metaphor for our worship of unforgiving capitalism, the omnipotent Market, the “new world economy”: the necromancers try to conjure up genies of amoral science and excess profits and command these forces to do their will. They imagine they are safe so long as they stay inside the pentagram, but demons are notoriously tricky. It is best not to fool around with such things, if you can’t get close to evil without getting some on you. DE-VOLUTION OF THE REPUBLICAN Republican party regulars, like German industrialists in the 1930s, thought they would use the Christian right as a way to power—only to find that the fundamentalists have used them. The most powerful nation of earth is now in the hands of zealots, whos devotion to the Biblical faith of our fathers means a belief in Biblical science as well—until such time as a crippling disease awakens their faith in stem cell research. Lawmakers in Kansas, Ohio, Texas, where next--?– are spending your time and money debating evolution and intelligent design. Madness is contagious, and we must not be drawn into a conversation with the barking mad. There never was a conflict between religion and science, only between the science of 2,000 BC and the science of today. It is no wonder that modern Republicans take this debate so seriously-- they’ve been devolving for years.This can be shown in the fossil record from Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Reagan and Bush. As shown in the diagram above, the Republican in its natural state would frighten away any electorate. Candidates must be cleaned, shaved, taught to use simple tools, walk upright, and perform the speeches of others. The chest thumping phase has discovered Fox “news”. He believes that John Kerry was a traitor for asking that we stop sending our own soldiers to their death , that Joe McCarthy was a great American, and the ravings of Ann Coulter have some connection to reality. This is akin to the fellow who saw a book once and thinks he read the whole library. A little less filthy after a bath, the creature is able to read the essays of Pat Buchanan and Cal Thomas and recite simple phrases. Theirs is a politics of resentment— the politics of the parochial schools that trained them Strangely enough, their interests coincide with populist Democrats on the subject of American jobs being shipped overseas, but even broken clocks are right twice a day. Freudians speak of a latency period when Republicans are strangely obsessed with other men’s penises and what they might be doing with them. This is the phase known as the Culture War. The Republican animal now lives by Mark Twain's dictum that nothing needs reforming so much as other people's bad habits. Unmarried women will be punished as well. These scarlet whores cannot be trusted their own bodies and must be stopped from murdering an unwanted child Their carelessness with a moment’s pleasure will chain them to fatherless children for a lifetime, because after the child is safely born we need have no more bother with it. A variant species, the Santorum of Ohio has expressed concern that an expanded marriage contract will lead inevitably to sex with dogs, something we never thought of until he brought it up. At level six, the specimen has evolved past the concerns of the flesh. He has read The Road to Serfdom and now has a rationalization for despising the poor. For him the Welfare State is the root of evil. He does not see the irony of his own serfdom as apologist for a Welfare State where millionaires find more charity than paupers. In the final stage of readiness, the Republican animal is polished enough to stand as a candidate. He has learned to shake hands, smile at inanities and not crap on the floor, with exceptions like DeLay of Texas. In Texas, crapping on the floor is something to be proud of, something that shows your independent spirit. In summary, we can see why the Republican Party would view Darwin’s Theory of Evolution as an affront to their precarious hold on humanity. We can also see why handlers such as Mrs. Rove feel compelled to clean them up first. Red faces, a bright blue ass, and a strained expression on its face, it would be easy to confuse the modern Republican with the baboon, were it not for the advanced social conscience of the baboon. DOPPELGANGER (Worldwide) The doppelganger is a double, a twin. It cannot be distinguished from the original except by magical means. No one is quite sure what they are because so few have survived meeting their evil twin; it does seem that something is out there, stalking us through the lonely lands of the world. The Vikings used to talk about the fylgja, a spirit double that may appear in dreams as well as in waking life. In England they called this creature a “fetch”, sent to do just that. The Arabs warn those who travel alone in the desert to be ‘ware the ghul, an evil spirit that appears to benighted travelers and leads them astray. In the far Arctic, the Inuits warn about a “double”, met out on the lonely ice. It takes on the appearance of a friendly companion, but it will lead you to your death, take on your appearance, and follow your tracks back home to your family. There the creature waits for winter to come and trap them all together. This terrible thing is called wendigo. It is still listed in some psychiatric texts as a “culture specific” syndrome, peculiar to northerners-- but this ignores clear evidence that such creatures are also found in the desolate canyons of modern cities. DRAGON (Worldwide) The dragon is the oldest and most powerful of all the mythical beasts. They are found in every nation on earth, from earliest times to the end of all things. The dragon should be recognized as a force of nature, like a thunderstorm or earthquake, and it wears both a good and evil face. In Europe the dragon guards the great treasures of life; we must fight our way past or be devoured. (Joseph Campbell remarked in a talk that “dragons guard things: beautiful women and gold-- and don’t know what to do with either. We call these people ‘creeps’.” In Asia the dragon brings life; benevolent and powerful, he brings the fertile rains from heaven. The Oriental dragon is not the simple roaring monster found in western fairy tales. Asian dragons rule the watery places of the world. They climb into the skies to bring the spring rain; in the fall, they drop into the deep unknown waters of the earth. Masters of yin and yang, dragons are at home in both the heavens above and the mud below. They are the most cultivated and intelligent of the beasts. They speak all known, and many unknown languages, and know many secrets of the world. The western dragon does not bring the spring rain, but leaves the land desolate and barren. A monstrous guardian, the European dragon does not bring life, but stifles it; does not inspire, but smothers. All the more famous stories of dragon slaying have this in common: that the hero joins battle with the monster n order to create a new world—to free the princess and claim the treasure and ensure that we all live happily ever after. Such a dragon is deep inside of us, sitting on top of the person we could be. In the practice of kundalini yoga, this reptile guardian is pictured as a gentle white serpent that must be coaxed into raising her head towards the light. Nietzsche says there is a dragon called “Thou Shalt.” Every one of the dragon’s scales has a “you should” or “you must” or a “thou shalt” written on it, one of the rules that keeps us from becoming heroes. We must slay or tame our dragons so the treasures inside can be brought out of the darkness. To be fair, Nietzsche ended his days screaming mad with syphilis boring holes through his brain, and his ideas of the superman indifferent to social approbation led German culture to Hitler and American businessmen to G.W. Bush-- but never mind. DRAGONS listed elsewhere in this work include: EARTH DRAGON FAFNIR FIVE-TOED DRAGON LUNG WANG WORMOUROBOROS WYVERN DRYAD (Greek and Hindu) A dryad is a female spirit that lives in a tree. When she dances, she kicks her heel against the trunk of her tree, and every time she kicks, the tree produces fruit. They were common in the old days, when we shared the earth with the creatures of myth. Since the cutting of the first growth forests, dryads are rarely seen. Dryads sometimes took human beings as lovers. Such romances ended sadly, because a dryad’s lifespan is the life of her tree, and a human’s is much shorter. Many a mortal in his green youth took a dryad for his lover, and then watched his days go like mayflies while the dryad kept her ripeness. He might even marry another mortal, sire children and then grandchildren, and still have another wife secret there in the woods, content in his old age to sit beneath her shade and lean against her strength. Many a hopeful girl has married a man with a secret bride. He says he loves her, but the haunted groom is still married to his sadness or his mother complex or his drinking, and the marriage will always have an extra partner in the room. DWARF (Scandinavian) Dwarves are a short squat magical race living deep in the earth, building their cities away from the eyes of men, though sometimes miners will hear their tools working far in the darkness. Dwarves are especially skilled in engineering with stone and metal. Their ability borders on the magical, and many a dwarfish weapon has found its way into a human story. |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Now featuring complete lyrics of: "She Was Only a Stableman's Daughter" "My Father's a Lawyer in England" and "A Little of What Yer Fancy Does Yer Good" ...Sung so clearly you can understand every word! |
|
|
|
|
